The Secrets Within
by Skillet48
Summary: Spencer learns she has another secret with Toby she wasn't planing on...
1. Prologue

When Spencer woke one dreary morning, she knew something to be very wrong. It wasn't just the bitter smell of this morning's breakfast, or the way she had slept peacefully for the first night in ages. Nor was it the constant fear of A which always plague her.

It was the pain.

Her eyes snapped open to the dimly lit room around her, slowly adjusting so that the nightstand beside her queen sized bed focused into view. Involuntarily she rolled out of bed, only to be hit with vertigo and fall back into her cloud like duvet. She felt light-headed and could hear her heart racing, almost having the appeal that it was attempting to burst out of its bony prison.

It had been around seven months since she'd felt this way, the last time being when Ian tried to push her off the bell tower. As she attempted to stand once more the sharpness doubled, the hammering action increasing its tempo as she fought to sustain a large breath.

Spencer concentrated in pulling in the much-needed oxygen. Silence was what she prayed for in that moment; afraid the staggering gasps he made would bring attention from her family towards herself. After Ian went _missing, _they hadn't believed that he killed Allie, or the he tried to kill her. They had tried to seem unnerved by Spencer's so called, _hysteria_, but she knew they gave her scrutinizing, distasteful looks.

The battle raged on within her, the nausea is her stomach becoming stronger as she gripped the post on her bed as if it were a life line. And she knew it was all because of the stupid flu. It had gone around the school, plus Hanna and Aria had it a few weeks prior. Recognition of the sharp shooting pain fluttering inside her only brought back unwarranted memories, and it terrified her.

She remembered Ian chasing her, and a stern promise that Melissa would understand why he would have killed her. This chilled her to the very bone. What was worst were the looks she was given around town. Because his body mysteriously went missing, the _entire _town thought she had lied, which shot her strait to the top of the Rosewood Police Departments list of Allie's potential killers. No one understood how hard this was, how stressed and completely overwhelmed she was. No one but Toby. She'd had boyfriends before, but had never felt such a way with another boy. They had both been framed, and were each others support, knowing what it was like to be framed for something heinous. He'd made her forget about the stares and whispers, and brought back her confidence.

Getting dressed and making her way downstairs slowly Spencer heard the sound of clanging pots and pans. Every so often she'd hear another clang. It was as though someone was sifting through all the iron palates of metal, unable to find that particular one in need. Blinking back the heavy vestiges of wonderful dreamscape, Spencer achingly made her way to the kitchen

The clanging continued, making her already aching head hurt with all the noise, until she heard a very faint "shit!" She immediately recognized the usage and the tone. It was her sister Melissa trying desperately to make breakfast once again.

Her body tensed tentatively for a second, unsure of weather today was a good day or not. After their car accident Melissa had lost the baby. The following weeks were filled with mass hysteria, weeping, and silence. Melissa hadn't spoken a word to her, which was agonizing. Spencer had wanted her to scream in her face, or even hit her! She blamed herself for Melissa losing the baby, and so did everyone else in her family.

Her body had all the will to move, but her mind refused to give into its need, the need to say anything to her. That was until Melissa had called out very loud and very rudely, "Mom, I can't find the omelet pan. Please tell me you didn't break, sell, or lose the stupid thing!"

"It's in the bottom draw to the right." Spencer pointed out with no emotion while grabbing orange juice from the refrigerator. Her sister straightened up giving her a small, forced smile before retreating out of the room. Spencer let out a sigh before her phone rang, informing her of a text message. For a moment she held her breath in fear of A, she reluctantly reach for her phone only to find it was Aria.

_Watch out, officer Garrett is 'hanging out' around school_

Spencer felt relief for a brief second, before resting her head in her hands. When had things become so complicated? When had they all have to watch out for killers, rather then go to parties, drink, have fun?

Eyeing her Orange juice distastefully she pushed it aside and made her way out towards her car. Looking back at her broken household she spotted her mother watching her leave with what seemed to be a sympathetic stare due to the slumped shoulders, the disappointed facial expression; it was a no-brainer that her mom didn't know just yet to deal with her 'psychotic' daughter. But Spencer didn't care. She wasn't in the mood to be walking on eggshells either.

With that thought she pealed out of her garage to her next hell.

Sitting at the lunch table Spencer had begun to think why she even went to school. It turns out she was wrong. Yes, there was whispering, but no one would come near her. It was as if she were poisonous.

"Oh Spencer, im sorry." Mona yelled mockingly across the room. Hanna watched as Spencer jolted out of her seat and ran out of the cafeteria. Mona was being malicious, sharing what rumors there were of Spencer to her. "You can be such a bitch." Hanna stood up calling her friend. Spencer could hear her words plain as day replaying over, and over again in her head. The overly-exuberant attitude and the sarcastic remarks kept on repeating as if they were an old broken record player. Running towards the bathroom in her ballet flats Spencer slammed into the door, opening it as she pasts the mirror and crouched in front of the small, disgusting porcelain toilet.

Upon releasing what little food she had into the bowl, her head snapped up to the sound of an opening down. Looking up she was relieved at seeing Hanna's friendly face. "Hey, what's up? Are you okay?" She crouched down to Spencer's height handing over a hair tie to make sure she kept her hair clean.

"I think so." Spencer cringed at the sound of her own voice, rough and out of breath. But she didn't want to go home; actually she wanted to go anywhere but home. Hanna raised a questionable eyebrow. Spencer shook her head, answering the unspoken question. "Maybe you should go to the nurse." Hanna suggested casually.

"No!" The reply was to quick, and definitely questionable. Spencer shook her head, "No, please. I can't go home." Spencer bit her lip, so hard she might have drawn blood. Swiftly she flushed the toilet and brushed past Hannah, leaving her dumbstruck.

"Come on Toby, pick up." Spencer mumbled impatiently into the phone.

"Hello?" came Toby's roughly sweet voice. Spencer gave an anxious smile with hearing his voice while sitting on the curb, "Can you please come pick me up?" Her voice was shaky, without its usual determination behind it. This immediately signaled Toby that something was wrong. "Yeah, yeah… where are you?" He questioned walking past his parents and grabbing his car keys. "I um- I'm in front of the school." She sniffed.

Twenty minutes later Spencer saw his car pull up. Toby smiled as he watched her spring up quickly, only to watch her fall back to the pavement with a destinctive thud.


	2. The Long, Winding Road

**Hello again:] so first off I have to thank everyone that reviewed my story! You totally made my day. So basically I didn't think of to put Aria or Emily into the last story… Why you ask? Because im careless and totally got lazy xD **

**Anyway, I hope you like this story:) also if you have any suggestions for me it would be MUCH appreciated. **

**Chapter Two**

**The Long, Winding Road**

With heroic muster, Toby pulled his girlfriend to her feet, grabbing a hold of her midriff tightly as she began to fall forward. She leaned heavily onto his solder, her legs no longer functioning to her request. "Spencer?" Toby's eyes searched her face frantically. "Spencer!" he tried again, raising his voice an octave. Holding her by the knees and waist Toby lifting her off the street and didn't stop until they both were safely at the truck. Pulling open the door, He laid Spencer into the passenger seat, keeping her upright by the collar of her blouse. He gritted his teeth enraged at seeing Spencer hurt. Grabbing her purse and dumping out the contents he found her phone. Scrolling through the contacts he took a deep breath when he reached her mothers number. He looked to his right noticing how tired and sick she looked. Without further hesitation he clicked Mrs. Hastings contact number and waited for her to pick up.

Twenty minutes later Mrs. Hastings along with Melissa rushed through the ER door towards Toby's slumped figure. "Where's my sister?" she demanded. He slowly looked up through his brown hair, "They have her staying at the end of the third floor."

"The Hastings Family?" called a tall blonde doctor with an angelic face.

"That would be us." Mrs. Hastings called out shakily gathering her belongings. Toby hesitated, unsure whether he should go with her family. With one look at the death mask which was Melissa's face, he made a mental note not to make any sudden movements near her. "Are you Toby Cavanaugh?" Dr. Chan asked with a beaming smile. He simply nodded and followed the three women into the elevator as directed.

"You don't think…" Melissa whispered, looking back towards Toby. His skin crawled under her dark, judging eyes. Toby was adamant that the Hastings family didn't like him, he was exactly sure of that feeling. Yet the ache of knowing their judgment, having them think that he…that he did _that _to Allison was a guarantee that they would always think of him as gum on the bottom of their shoes. He's been under worse scrutiny though. People would cross the street at seeing him, though the charges were dropped, the feeling of constant judgment had yet to leave.

But as it turns out, it didn't matter how _he _was feeling. He carefully replayed the few weeks prior in his mind to find any sign that Spencer was ill. But that was as hard as finding a needle in a haystack. She was strong-minded, independent, ambitious and stubborn as hell. He should have seen it coming, been able to tell. Lately her visits were becoming scarcer as her parents found out she wasn't _really_ going to Emily's to study every other night. They had always had high expectations of her, but keeping her on a sort leash was getting irritating.

The elevator rang signaling the uncomfortable ride was over. He stepped out behind the three women once more, until they reach room 314. Chan pausing briefly before entering, but Melissa saw right through it. "It's alright, I get it. We get it," she interrupted rudely. "We know the drill, prepare yourself, she may come as a shock… etcetera."

"Melissa", her mother warned, halfheartedly sending her a glare. Her sudden rudeness wasn't appreciated.

"Actually, she only wants to see you right now." Chan pointed to Toby, turning a cocky grin towards Melissa. Toby searched Melissa's face, then her mothers. They both looked as though a punch had been thrown to their gut, but Melissa just looked absolutely _pissed. _He smiled before turning the knob and going in.

Toby kept his head straight but instantly felt relief at the sight of Spencer.

She was as expected: pale, eyes drooping, and hands frantically spinning in one another with her dark, lustrous chestnut hair pulled back. Despite the many wires protruding out of her arm, she seemed pleasantly well.

Dr. Chan hovered over her like a condor swooping in for its prey, reading her watch whilst taking Spencer's temperature, when she leaned in to whisper to Spencer. There was a nod, then a shake, and the doctor let go, striding over to Toby. "She's tired and dehydrated, but should be fine," She Smiled. Toby nodded thanking her, before turning his full attention to his girlfriend.

Spencer opened her mouth then shut it not seeming to find the right way to, "drop the biggest bomb _ever_", in her words. He noticed her hesitation and made his way over to her bed, sitting on the end, facing her.

"Hey." He smiled taking her hand.

"Hi." Spencer said lamely. She couldn't bring herself to think of the current _situation, _trying to focus on anything else, like the way he was still here for her. Her mind was running on barley any sleep, yet millions of thoughts and scenarios were going though her mind. It was as though coffee raced through her veins instead of blood. The exhilaration receded less though when she had nothing further to add to the father of her unplanned, unwanted child. The longer the silence stretched out the more uncomfortable and guilty she felt. Perhaps it was a fluke? That the doctors read the test wrong, or maybe her results could have been accidentally switched with another women's? But she was smarter than to believe that.

Besides, there were alternative options.

At that thought hot angry tears fell freely from Spencer's sore eyes, sliding along her pale skin, dripping off her face. Her body felt stiff with the adrenaline over the last few days wearing off. A had revealed more videos of them. Who would be so twisted, who could- then it hit her; what if A _knew. _If she knew about this baby it could ruin so many lives …Toby's life. She shook with guilt, and fear, and worry; still suffering from the debilitating blow from finding out she was creating a whole other life.

Toby wrapped her in a strong, comforting embrace murmuring soothing words. She couldn't understand over her broken sobs, but was intoxicated by his smell.

"Spencer?" Without meaning to, his voice quivered.

He was answered with wrecking sobs. Until firm, unmistakably cool lips wrapped around his. His head perked up and his eyes closed, his hand frantically traveling to her jaw line until they broke apart, booth gasping for air. The kiss was sweet, yet still passionate.

"Wow," Toby breathed. Despite Spencer's best efforts, she gave a smirk, and that was good enough for Toby.

A sort knock on the door broke the pair apart. Spencer watched as the overly happy doctor walked in with pen in hand. She filled with rage, how could she be smiling? Here _she_ was sitting in the hospital _pregnant. _Yet the stupid doctors all walked with an extra spring in their steps. They were surrounded by death, disease! How could they act like they'd just gotten back from _Disney world, the happiest place on earth_? "Sorry, but im going to have to ask you to step out," Toby nodded, and reluctantly left the small beige room. "Alright Spencer, I'm gonna ask you a few more questions and I need you to be totally honest with me. Have you been fatigued, or Nauseas lately?"

Spencer let out a great sigh of disaffection and slowly nodded.

"You have?" Chan continued. "Does then nausea get worse when you're lying down…okay," she replied when Spencer nodded.

"That's bad right?" She asked solemnly. "That is one of the first symptoms of pregnancy, but it tells me that your most likely still in your first trimester." Spencer nodded leaning back against the surprisingly comfortable bed.

"When was the last time you were sexually active?"

This question made her uncomfortable. She never understood how friends could all gather round and openly talking about sex. To her it was something sacred, and private. "A…A c-couple nights ago." She stumbled over her own words blushing a crimson red; she grew restless, her fingers began shakily fumbling with the thin blankets.

"Spencer, I need you to listen to me," Chan leaned over, placing a small hand delicately on Spencer's shoulder chest, peering intensely at the patient. "Listen to me. You have to calm down. All this stress isn't good for you or your baby, but if you could just calm down…"

The rest of her 'interrogation' went by in a blur, as if she was listening to the doctor from underneath water. _Your baby. _Spencer sighed, underneath the wave styled blankets her hands spread over her toned abdomen. Her brows knitted together frustrated at trying to imagine how it would feel with the baby inside._ Her Baby._

Dr. Chan left to fetch her parents, and for the first time from when she was admitted, she was alone. She didn't necessarily want to be left to her own thoughts, yet it did bring a comfortable ambiance; one that Spencer yearned to last, knowing the next person she saw was going to be her mother. Despite it being February, It was warm, auspicious. Spencer enjoyed the solitude the most. She hadn't yet had time to call her own to contemplate her pregnancy. The news initially came as a shock, as though Ben Franklin's kite was struck by lightning again. She was a senior for cryin' out loud! In no way, shape or form was she capable of caring for a baby. But it just so happened that life was screwing her over once more, maybe just for more fun.

Three thoughts ran through her head over and over again; _Abortion, Adoption, or keeping it. _Searching for the answer she came to no avail.

She gnawed at her lip as more tears streamed down her face

"Spencer?" She jumped as if shocked; her mother cautiously approached her daughter's side.

"Mom." She sighed relieved and panicked. _Oh shit. _

Melissa looked over at her sister with genuine concern, "You okay?"

There was no answer.

"Spencer? What is it?" Mrs. Hastings saw the sweat and slight shake in her daughter. She stepped closer and froze. Spencer was crying. "Spence, honey, what is it?"

She finally looked up, the fear and confusion clearly emanating from her dark eyes. "Mom" she began, her voice quivering, "I'm pregnant."

**Do I smell another cliff hanger? Maybe;) and am I that sadistic? Yes:D So I hope everyone, (everyone in the Midwest at least) has an AWESOME Spring Break! I wont be at home, and my parents wont let my take my computer on vacation:[ so I hope this holds you all over for a week or two :P**


	3. Lifes a Bitch

**Surprise! I worked on this chapter before I left, worked on it while I was on vacation... vainly I tried to get rid of my writers block- but with no avail :C Also, I've decided to make my chapters longer, which will delay publishing, but that will be after I get home… so yeah:]**

**So, without further ado, here it is! And no Spencer hasn't told Toby…_ yet_:) read this chapter and you'll find out though! **

**Chapter Three**

**Lifes a Bitch**

This was a real serious and scary-as-Hell situation. One that neither Spencer nor Mrs. Hastings had foreseen in her daughter's now bleak future. Everything in Spencer's mind slowed down, as if she were in a terrible, unbearable movie. She looked around the room, taking in the beige walls and the distinct sterile smell of the hospital sheets; looking anywhere but her mother, who turned a ghostly pale; she seemed translucent almost.

In her whole life she'd never been a fan of silence, but for the first time she welcomed it.

The silence was deafening, seemingly stretched out longer then needed, but from the look on her mother's face, Spencer needed all the time she could get. Breaking the long, agonizing silence seemed nothing short of suicide; but it had to be done. Listlessly, Spencer sat up shakily and readied herself as the room began to spin. She was so nervous, she felt as though she would faint. Spencer laughed at the thought, being that passing out brought her to this sterile imprisonment.

Above the lull of conversation outside her room, Spencer surprisingly enough found her lips moving before her mind could stop them. "Mom... I-I'm sorry." Every emotion swirled in her brain had impaired her focus, she had thought that just maybe her mother might be sympathetic, but one quick glance and she knew that wasn't the case.

"If you're going to yell, go ahead," Spencer added painfully, sounding like a small child preparing for a giant scolding, "I'm ready."

Veronica sent a downward glare and her nostrils flared. The brewing anger was now revving back, her rage about to shoot off at 100 miles per hour. "You slept with _him_?" she cried. Veronica had know of her daughters petty rebellion, dating _that _boy, but she hadn't though Spencer would be this clueless. Possibly her friend Hanna, or maybe even Aria.

Spencer looked away before she admitted, "yes."

"Spencer, you _know _better! This was not in your plan, especially this boy!" she replied icily, dangerous venom tainting her tone. "How could you have been so careless, irresponsible?"

"Mom," Melissa cut in. "She doesn't need this. Not now."

"No," her mother challenged, glowering fiercely at her eldest daughter before turning back to Spencer. "So when _were_ you going to tell us? When you began to show, or when you'd be in labor?"

Spencer flinched at the raised voice. "I didn't know!" She feebly tried to defend.

"Oh you didn't know," She drawled childishly, "yet your doctor told us that you've been dealing with all these symptoms for weeks. Weeks Spencer!"

"Mom, I swear…"

"So you're telling me you didn't know, that all the throwing up was just some strange coincidence?"

"No I didn't." She fought again sitting up with the heart monitors _beeps _increasing their tempo," but—"

"But what? Didn't feel the need to tell your family? To-"

Having enough of the tirade, Spencer sat up, and looked up to her mother, challenging her. "Why won't you ever listen to me? Do you think I want this? No, and I'm scared as hell-"

"Knock off this attitude Spencer." Her daughter looked up, her face a mix of sadness, disappointment, and betrayal. Only a short time ago her mother believed someone was framing her for Allie's death.

"Mom," Melissa warned.

Veronica dismissed the warning, much too worked up to really care. "I'm hurt Spencer. I am. I'm hurt that my own _daughter_ needed to keep _this…" _she flailed her arm around, "all a secret."

"You're hurt?" Spencer laughed darkly. "Neither _you _or _you _believe a single thing I say!" her eyes searched between the two. "Not about Allison, Toby, or even Ian! He's been gone for, what? Almost eight months, both of you refuse to believe he's dead?" Her voice broke in a couple places, becoming frantic, "He killed Allison, and he tried to kill _me!"_ When she finished her rant she fell back into the bed, releasing several huffs and indignant glances towards Melissa's receding figure.

"Spencer, you have to stop." Her mother warned filing out after Melissa. She was raged, afraid steam may have pored out of her ears; just that look for her mother, and she was sure to explode. She knew why he was angry, but what she didn't understand was why it had meant more now than it had a couple months ago. She wanted to scream, thrash, create a scene, and rip apart whatever was keeping her rampant emotions at bay.

**…**

Spencer absolutely hated this. She sat on the overly plush chair, anxiously waiting for Dr. Chan to release her from her sterile imprisonment. Since Spencer 'shattered her future life' in her mother's words, she'd been under close watch. She hated having her mother behind her each second, practically breathing down her neck. She hated how her mother went insane every second he was not within eyesight.

She basically hated her mother.

Looking around the office Spencer saw what seemed to be millions of pregnancy charts, packets, and posters. Looking at them only supported that her _situation_ was a livid nightmare. Here she was, one of Rosewoods top students, becoming another statistic.

She knew it was ridiculous to get worked up over such a trivial feeling. But she still couldn't shake the feeling of failure.

Being pulled back to reality Spencer heard the door click open followed by the blond doctor. "So how are mom and baby today?" Chan smiled, causing Mrs. Hastings cringed, the words like nails on a chalkboard. _Mom and Baby _ran through Spencers mind, it was real... but seemed more like a scary nightmare.

"Alright Spencer," Chan announced, now very serious. Her blatant eyes had said as much. "Before we go into your pregnancy, I have to ask what your decision is, to terminate, or carry full term?"

This was the question that had plagued her for days. _Could I consciously kill another life? _And the answer was no. Not without consenting with Toby at least, right? She grew anxious, feeling all eyes on her. Though the silence she was surprised at how her voice was barely a whisper. "I uh… I'm carrying, full term."

Her hands involuntarily began to twist and turn, intertwining with one and another fretfully, a nervous habit since childhood. She could look at nothing else but them. It was too shameful. Veronica gaped at her terrified Daughter, unable to find her voice to tell Spencer the right thing to do was get rid of it, sweep this whole situation under the rug.

"And you're keeping your baby?"

"I- I don't k-know yet." Shaking, Spencer wished more than anything to crawl under her covers and hide.

"Okay." Chan quickly changed the topic, clearly seeing the lost, scared look in the teenager. "This is where I'm going to give you an idea of what to expect throughout your pregnancy." She turned her attention toward Veronica, "We'll give you a pamphlet of information listed in detail of what Spencer should and should not do, with this being her first pregnancy, yes?"

Spencer nodded.

"Okay, so you're around 9 to 10 weeks along in your pregnancy," Chan continued, flipping though files. "Right now your baby is the size of a strawberry, and your waist _should_ begin to thicken. Your weight gain is still small, if at all. Food aversions, cravings, heartburn, indigestion, nausea and bloating are expected. Mood swings and weepiness are common, too." She added smiling, "make sure no one at home gives you a hard time." Spencer nodded trying to soak up all the information she was given, forcing a small smile. "Now let's talk about what you can't do…"

She had to be realistic with herself. Throughout this pregnancy she'd have to quit tennis, give up her free time for parent child classes, and most likely be locked in her room for eternity. Spencer was used to being independent, in control. But now everything was spiraling wildly out of her control, like a F6F hellcat being shot down from its flight. Spencer had to admit the change to come was unsettling.

* * *

Sunday afternoon arrived bright and sunny; a sign that summer was well on its way. However, Spencer and her family acted as though oblivious to the upswing in the weather. Inside, it was as though heavy dark clouds enveloped everything. This was the first morning home since her hospitalization.

Spencer softly smiled, pressing her cheek deeper into the warm, welcoming pillow. She was grateful that for the first time in what seemed like forever she slept peacefully. No doctors coming in at random intervals checking on her in the wee hours of the morning, and no constant beeping coming from a heart rate monitor.

However, it also made aware of a new dilemma, dealing with her family and A. To Spencer's annoyance; A could get inside her head. All the secrets she already stacked could easily fall, as if her life were a game of _Jenga_. One wrong move and it was over.

But Spencer didn't want to think about it, and it hadn't mollified the severity of the situation a bit. There was also the minuscule problem of telling Toby.

Spencer looked up at the ceiling, still thinking. Really, telling him couldn't be so difficult; she only had to say two little words. Life changing words. She groaned and rolled over, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment before opening the again, Letting out a long, exasperated sigh, Spencer knew that her day had to begin.

She stayed on the bed for a moment longer, indulging the next few minutes. Lately time felt like a long, spine-chilling roller coaster: scary and out of control, taking her along for the ride—except it forgot to pack the brakes. The week had gone by faster than she expected and tonight she would have to go congratulate Toby about being a father at eighteen. She could hardly wait.

**Thanks for telling me about the name mix up, (ive been reading Harry Potter, and its amazing! so Harry, Ron, and Hermione are on my mindXD)**

**I seriously _loved _writing this one, with Mrs. Hastings blowout, and getting more in depth with the pregnancy. WebMD has been great to me XD thank god they have things on pregnancy or I would even begin to know what symptoms, and ect to write!**


	4. Raging Hormones

_**Author's Note: Hi, you remember me don't you? Writing a story for Pretty Little Liars… Spencer and Toby… No?**_

_**I'm so sorry I've been gone, its just now that Spring Break is over school is bombarding me with a crap load of work, and MCA's are starting up…but that's not excuse.**_****

_**So anyway… Here's the chapter everyone (including myself) has been waiting for! Yes, Spencer is going to tell Toby!**_

_**But before I begin I have so say THANK YOU those who have continually reviewed my story, and to all the new reviews, and for spotting a BIG mistake in my last one! (Wrote Hermione, not Spencer) yeah... *cringes disgustingly* sorry you guys, but thanks for catching it! I've started reading the Harry Potter books… and well Harry, Ron and Hermione have been on my mind lately:)**_****

_**I've said this before and it's such a cliché, but you've all made my day!**_

_**Enjoy the chapter!**_

_**~Kirsten~**_

**Chapter Four**

**Raging Hormones**

Several hours later, Spencer felt ready to puke. As the day progressed, she began to feel worse, saturated with sweat, and fatigued. She found that whoever said pregnancy was _beautiful_ was either deeply disturbed, or just down right cruel. It was always too hot or painfully cold, and right now her skin matched her ill temper. Credit as she saw it, was given to her bipolar hormones.

_Hormones, god she hated them._

Through all the uncomfortable and disgusting effects of pregnancy she found morning sickness was her least favorable. In the morning _and _evening the feeling of nausea didn't fail to make an appearance. The once delectable smells she loved- like coffee, were now disgusting, having her do a Houdini into the bathroom.

Never in her life had she felt this bad…not even at theBellTower.

Spencer had decided that today she would have to reveal to Toby her secret before A did, if A even knew… and there it was again, the feeling of spinning completely out of control. She had no idea if A knew, if she was already scheming to make the floor from underneath her feet fall out, leaving the dark nothingness that was to follow. But that was a different problem for another time. Right now she had a mission.

The drive to Toby's was long and dizzying, the adrenaline pumping vigorously through her veins. She gripped the steering wheel, feelings of cataclysmic proportion raged on the inside, the anxiety piling up, and the turmoil in the pit of her stomach. For the first time her hand found its way to her lower abdomen, it was warm, soft. A tender smile graced her face for a fraction of a second before it dropped along with the hand. She couldn't- wouldn't get attached, if anything this was fates cruel joke, possibly a test.

Because she was only seventeen, and there was _no way _she could raise a child.

Turning her sizable car onto Toby's street, she slammed on the brakes almost missing his house. Spencer hadn't seen the home in a long time and it took her a moment to recognize, she hadn't know it was his until she saw the motorcycle.

She and Toby would always run off to the Motel across town in the black night, neither willing to deal with the hell they would receive if word got back to their parents they were together. Toby's parents believed she was responsible for Allie's murder, likewise for Spencer's- only opposite.

Spencer turned off the ignition and took a deep, exasperated breath. Not because she was tired, but purely out of anxiety and delirium. Shakily stepping out of the car she moved forward on rubbery legs until she froze. There Toby was, unmistakably plain as day behind his motorcycle. Spencer swore quietly to herself, the drive to his house she was _sure_ she would tell him. But now, with the problem laid out in front of her, all she wanted to do was climb back into her SUV and floor it until she was out ofPennsylvania.

Sadly, that plan was shattered when Toby called her over.

Her eyes cast down to her feet, reluctantly walking towards him on his front porch. She sat down next to him, bringing her knees up to her chest. She looked sideways at him, and everything she had decided she would say died in her throat. It shouldn't be so hard, saying two tiny words, only three syllables… life changing syllables.

"What are you doing here?" He asked purely of curiosity, interrupting her thoughts.

"I… Um, it's… I," she stuttered unsure of how to start.

Toby raised an eyebrow.

Biting down on her lip to stop the overbearing emotions that were threatening to spill out of her, Spencer clung fiercely to the edge of the porch, to her lifeline. She took a deep breath, readying herself for what was sure to be a backbreaking conversation.

"Are you okay?" His eyes searched hers frantically, only to receive her gaze shifting back to her feet.

"Kind of," she whispered guiltily. Spencer hadn't spoken to him since the hospital; hell… she had been trying to avoid him. She felt disgusting, deceiving, and raunchy all at once. Nothing like herself, how she usually acted. And for that she didn't want to face him, didn't think she could.

"Spencer?" His voice was more urgent now.

"I'm… pregnant." Her anguished words hung in the air uncomfortably. Spencer reluctantly looked at Toby's reaction though her dark curtain of hair, her expression matching a child responsible for drawing on the walls.

His expression was as expected; Toby's eyes displayed a haze of confusion, and his face a mask of mock hurt. "Did you know at the hospital?"

Spencer sheepishly looked at him. Hoping her eyes spoke for her, hoping he saw her apology, unable to conjure up words at the moment.

"Did you know?" He asked once more angrily.

She nodded slowly, being careful of his dangerous tone.

"Do you know have far along you are?" Toby's asked softer, his voice strung with sadness mimicking his face.

"Somewhere around nine to ten weeks," Spencer whispered so softly she hadn't thought he would hear her.

Toby nodded, his face sobering to a fierce stare off into space. "Nine to ten weeks," he repeated.

"Im sorry," she rasped. "I should have told you… I should h-have, but I…I-I," her voiced trailed off into broken sobs. They weren't tears of pity for herself, but tears of relief. For the first time she had let her emotions free from their containment. Spencer thought it could have been the stress finally weighing down too heavy or because she finally had someone to share it with. She decided the latter of the two sounded the most realistic.

Toby grabbed Spencer's had which was playing with the hem of her shirt, and placed her on his lap. He held her, softly running his hand up and down her back comfortingly. Unconsciously, Spencer found herself wrapping her arms around his neck tightly holding herself against him.

She sobbed so hard she felt lightheaded. She was aware that his neighbors could probably hear her, but she didn't care. She cried until she felt sick, until there were no tears left.

She felt his chin on her head, her sobs resonating in his ears. She felt him hold her close, her tears running off her face and onto his shirt. She looked up to his face, to see him crying.

He wasn't crying because of his uncertainties, he was crying because he couldn't fix why _she _was crying. Hell, he _was_ the reason for her... current condition.

"Spencer you didn't... did you?" he asked. The look on his face nearly broke her heart, but did he actually believe she would do that? Two emotions collided with each other; fierce rage and overpowering sadness. She blamed hormones once again.

"I couldn't do that, I-I just... I won't." Spencer whispered shaking her head vigorously, letting her tears soak into his shirt.

"Spencer I'm sorry for getting you into this…but you _won't _have to go through it alone." The words were music to her ears, but she knew better than to get swept away by emotions. _Even _if she pregnant.

"We should probably go inside." he whispered into her hair.

She nodded in agreement, knowing his neighbors would think she was insane.

Toby stood up extending his arm for her to take. Spencer smiled softly following Toby into his living room; he sat on the chair and Spencer on the arm of the sofa facing him. They sat in silence for a few moments, neither wanting to be the one to initiate what was sure to be a slightly awkward conversation.

The silence was eerie and uncomfortable, nothing like Spencer planned on. She hadn't expected him to shout and fume, but she didn't expect him to be so quiet. He had always been soft spoken, but for the first time he was _silent_. "So what do we do?" Toby began, slowly pronunciation each word clearly.

"Well, I've decided to carry full term." Toby nodded seemingly understanding, "what does that mean?"

Spencer smiled at his incomprehension of pregnancy slang before explaining everything to Toby that Dr. Chan told her. When she was done, she let the air out slowly, her head spinning.

As the day inched by Spencer became more comfortable, until she was on his lap again. They talked with him minutes on end about nothing, a refreshing change from their earlier topic. She thought it couldn't have been more perfect. She would have stayed her forever if she could, but she could also hear her stomach growling. She realized she hadn't eaten in at least a whole day. She looked up at him, her arms still wrapped around him and his arms wrapped around her.

"I could make you eggs or something," he suggested, smiling.

Spencer laughed softly. "Please _anything _but eggs… maybe some pizza?" she asked kindly wrapping one arm around his waist and heading towards the kitchen.

"Anything for you."

**…**

Spencer woke to an empty room. It took her a moment to orientate herself in the unfamiliar surroundings and to remember where she was. The details of arriving at Toby's house in the late hours of Sunday night were hazy, but she vaguely recalled her meltdown, and him bringing her inside his house.

Spencer was sprawled on an old leather couch, a thick blanket tangled around her legs. Someone – she assumed Toby – had removed her flats, placing them at the side of the sofa. Turning her head to the side, Spencer glanced around the cabin, trying to get a better look at what his house looked like. She'd only ever been in there once-without being invited.

Adjacent to where she was lying was a fireplace. The logs cracking, spreading a comforting warmth into the room- well, it would have been comforting if she weren't already blistering hot. The walls were a welcoming shade of gold, filled with family pictures, what seemed to be thousands of books, and a thick rug that covered the bare wooden floor throughout the entire room. In front of her was a round table holding what she believed to be her breakfast.

There was a homely feel to the unfamiliar place, and the smell of coffee that permeated the air only added to that, instantly reminding her of home and her morning sickness.

She sat up slowly; sleep still clouding her vision. Everything prior to this moment seemed unbelievable, or more like a beautiful nightmare. Toby's reaction to '_it' _was… unexpected. Spencer wanted to believe his words. She wanted to hold onto them and never let the assurance go, but the unsettling feeling of his words still lingered in her mind.

"God Morning," said a voice. Spencer twisted her body to find Toby leaning heavily against the doorframe, his unruly hair sticking out sporadically from sleep.

Instantly she regretted turning so sharply. Nausea rip through her as she past Toby running to what she hoped was the bathroom. She pushed the door open before making very close friends with the toilet.

Toby came rushing in after her, holding her hair while she relieved herself.

"Thanks" Spencer muttered darkly pushing away his hands when she finished. Looking up to him, Toby gave her the, I-know-you-need-help look. "I feel better," Spencer lied, her voice shilling with fake reassurance.

Toby arched his brow, holding out his hand knowingly.

Spencer hated that he could read her so well. She hated that Toby had learnt every expression, every emotion, and every thought. She clenched her jaw tightly, forcing herself to calm down, knowing her anger wasn't directed at her boyfriend, but at the situation.

Once again pushing his hand out of her way, Spencer picked herself up off the floor and marched back into the living room. Toby was annoyingly right though. Her head hurt, but that wasn't the worst of it. Her throat burned, and so was _extremely _tired.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" Spencer called out realizing it was Monday.

"Home schooled, remember? And if I'm correct you should be in school, shouldn't you?" he through back her question with a playful smile.

"I'm _pregnant_, and feel like absolute crap, remember?" she said viciously throwing his words back while she picked at her breakfast, keeping far, _far _away from the coffee. Spencer wasn't really hungry, bur knowing Toby it wasn't up for debate; Spencer was eating whether she was hungry or not. Especially now that he knew.

"So you admit you feel like crap?" He reveled in his small victory taking the spot next to her on the plush couch.

Spencer's frown deepened, but the conversation was interrupted by the front door opening. A rush of cold air blew in from outside, icy winds crept into every inch of the room until the door was finally shut. Spencer was shocked to see Jenna; she stiffened, holding her breath as to hopefully not be caught.

"I know you're here Spencer." Jenna stated dryly walking forward with her long mahogany cane.

Spencer shot Toby a death glare, hoping he hadn't told her.

"Yeah," Toby replied, pulling a face. "Don't worry she _only_ knows that you stayed here last night after a fight with Melissa."

He gave her a nod, and her muscles instantly became taunt knowing her- no, _their_ secret was still well guarded.

"Toby," Jenna called out with a smile, "for lunch today I think I'll have… what ever Spencer had."

"_Lunch?" _she whispered incredulously in Toby's ear. He simply nodded, before silently making his way into the kitchen. She absolutely hated that she was so tired, yet she'd slept half the day.

"You know Spencer," Jenna gaze settled near the generally area around Spencer, "you friends are wondering where you are at school."

Spencer turned to Jenna, taking in her careful, deceitful tone. "And?" She challenged.

"Well I'm just…curious, like they are as to why you're not at school… and here." Her tone picked up at the last two words, like she was actually happy. Spencer had never liked Jenna, even after the accident she still seemed like a sketchy bitch.

"I guess I'll just tell them tomorrow, won't I," Spencer drawled childishly.

Jenna nodded, perching her lips. 

"Here you go," Toby called from behind Spencer. His eyes were cold, lifeless. He had told Spencer everything Jenna had done to him, and it broke her heart. Toby was too nice to be sucked into some cat-and-mouse game of sex, and for that reason her hatred towards his step sister was only driven with more motive to take action.

But she couldn't do anything, not without proof. The phone call at theBellTowerand the flash-drive were gone, bringing the girls back to square one: who was A?

Spencer thought she had a pretty good idea…

"Mmm, thank you Toby. It smells wonderful." Jenna smiled, "And why aren't you eating?"

Spencer dropped her icy gaze, "just not hungry." The sound of her voice was obvious that she wasn't pleased; she just wished Jenna wasn't so good screwing with her foul mood. The house was filled with tension, filling every corner of it.

"Spencer-" Jenna began, unable to keep the pleasure of Spencer's discomfort out of her voice.

"Jenna, that's enough," Toby interrupted. His voice was cautious, yet loaded with alarming threat.

"Easy Toby, everyone's playing nice here. Right Spencer?"

Spencer nodded, giving an uneasy smile, taking another handful of toast and shoving it into her mouth.

Toby's gaze flicked between his sister and Spencer, she frowned, putting the bowl down on the table. Her appetite lost– not that she'd had much of one to begin with, but she suddenly felt sick to her stomach. An uneasy sensation weighed the bottom of her stomach, sending chills up her spine that had nothing to do with the pregnancy. Spencer trusted Toby, she was even grateful for him, buts he couldn't help but... _worry. _ There were too many unknowns, too many things she felt she didn't know.

"Yeah," Spencer replied, but found herself frowning. Something about all of this seemed… _wrong._

**_Yeah… I know I've been neglecting Aria, Hanna, Emily, Jenna, and even A. But I tried to incorporate them, nevertheless, _****don't worry _I'll add them next chapter! I just wanted to take the right amount of time to do this chapter… right. And hopefully I did :D (Without being to cheesy?) _**

**_Also, I'm thinking of doing my all my chapters longer like this one… yes or no?_**


	5. Judgment, Shock and Expectations

**_Authors Note: I hadn't felt very inspired until recently, so… sorry for the wait!_**

**_I even tried to do some one shots and nothing came to mind, I literally starred at the blank document expecting some great idea to hit me! Also just to stop any confusion the first part of this story is in Toby's POV._**

**_Also, WOW! I've neglected my email since…I made this account, and some strange feeling made me want to check it… and then I saw how amazing everyone is:) so many of you have added my story to your favorites, reviewed, and added me as a favorite author… I totally don't deserve it, cause to be honest I wouldn't favorite me own work. So seriously you are all WAY TO NICE, & SUPER AMAZING… and will you marry me, cause I think im in love;D _**

**_PS, I can't forget my cliché! You have all MADE. MY. WEEK. (that's right, week not day)_**

**_Anyway here is Chapter five, Enjoy!_**

**_~Kirsten~_**

**Chapter Five**

**Judgment, Shock and Expectations**

Sitting on the cold tiled floor, Toby couldn't help but find the humor in how this _wasn't_ how he ever imagined spending a night with Spencer.

Stretching his back and readjusting his legs, Toby tried to ignore the biting cold of the porcelain tub on the back of his neck. And as hard as he tried, he just couldn't get the sound of Spencer vomiting out of his head. He cringed as she got sick again, watching her fumble for the flush lever on the toilet as the contents vanished.

They had spent the duration of Mondaytalking, they talked hours on end only to end up even more lost then they had before. How much it would all cost, whether to keep the child, and how this would affect Spencer and her schoolwork… truthfully, the day had gone much smoother than predicted. But around dinnertime, Spencer had shot off to the bathroom, which she hadn't left for the better part of three hours.

Looking sickly green, she leaned heavily against the wall adjacent from him and rested her head, closing her eyes and groaning. She looked pale and sweaty, how she did months prior when the Rosewood Police would interrogate her. Feeling guilty, yet yarning to comfort her, Toby positioned himself so that he was closer to her, and took her hand in his. At his touch, her eyes fluttered open and she managed a weak smile.

"I bet you're having second thoughts now," she croaked, squeezing his hand in hers.

Toby furrowed his eyebrows. "About what?" he asked, putting his hand on her shoulder as she swayed dangerously. She didn't look him in the eyes out of embarrassment.

"About doing this. About me," Spencer mumbled, still not looking at him.

He shook his head vehemently. "Not at all," he said truthfully, gazing down at her, and this time she looked at her. Her smile became stronger, then her eyes widened and she lunged forward, just making it to the toilet before being sick again. Toby watched her bowed head, her thin arms gripping the porcelain for support. After a few moments, she sat back up, joining him back on the wall.

"Are you sure you're not?" she joked weakly. Toby shook his head a second time.

"Not at all," he repeated. "Actually what I don't understand is why you think I_ wouldn't _want anything to do with you," he said slowly, taking his hand in hers again before adding, "with this baby."

Spencer closed her eyes again, and he wondered if her thoughts were the same as his. The truth was this wasn't an _"it", _or a _"situation"; this _was a_ baby_, their baby. As scary as it was, a mixture of exhilarating and disbelief flowed through his veins. "Baby," Spencer moaned confirming his unsaid question. Toby's eyebrows knitted together as she lunged to the toilet again, and then sat back against the wall, shaking her head, "False alarm."

Toby arched a dubious brow at his girlfriend; given her the you-can't-be-serious look "You knowI would never leave you, especially in the situation," he said in an even tone.

Spencer nodded slowly, out of confusion or disbelief. Toby was unsure. "There's a reason why I didn't tell you 'till now," she said softly. Toby looked down at her, his eyes swimming with questions.

"Well," Spencer said quietly, "I was scared... I didn't know what to do. To tell my parents, and see the anger and disappointment, to say _nothing _-ignore it, or just… just get rid of it." By the time she had finished, she had broken down into hysterical sobs.

Angrily she wiped them away with her sleeve, curling her knees to her chest. "Damn hormones," she mumbled.

Silence engulfed the room, to the point of unbearable pain. The words cut Toby like a knife… _Spencer had thought of getting an abortion_. "What?" he said, fear turning into anger with such a disconcerting speed that he felt sick for a moment. Spencer looked up at him, and her expression told him that this was the reaction she had been dreading. For some reason, this only made him angrier.

"No, Toby," she said, with what seemed to be an attempt at a comforting tone. "It's not that…not that I could, I don't want to," she rushed failing to explain herself.

"Didn't or Don't Spencer?" he watched as Spencer winced at the disgruntled words, his anger increasing.

"I… I don't know!" Spencer cried, as Toby pushed her away from his grasp.

"Toby," she whispered brokenly as she turned slightly green again, and dove at the toilet, nearly missing before she got sick.

"You tell me when you've made a decision," Toby forced through clenched teeth. He walked away; catching sight of Jenna's annoyingly smug smirk as he slammed the door to his bedroom.

**…**

Come Thursday, Spencer found solace in her favorite corner of the library; this particular morning no different from the ones before it. She loved spending her mornings sitting in the old school library with its high ceilings, thickly carpeted floors and high bookshelves crammed with rows and rows of books; giving no judgment and begging to be read. The familiar stacks of bulky literature surrounding her like an impenetrable wall; clearing her mind. The usual, comforting silence, however, had been lost in the hammering of her heart.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Unforgivable throbbing pulsed and rang throughout her eardrums; the constant pounding encircled her mind, pushing her to the point of insanity. Spencer tried her hardest to ignore the pounding that engulfed her, to push it far into the back of her mind.

_Thump. Thump. Thump_

Biting the end of her pencil out of frustration- a bad habit since childhood- she slammed her _AP: American Studies _book shut, and slung her bag over her shoulder, peeling towards the door.

Walking down the empty hallway Spencer felt her self become angrier, with herself, Toby, her friends- even the damn teachers who were _suppose _to teach kids about condoms and birth control _for Christ sake!_

But she knew it wasn't their faults, although it did feel good to blame someone other then herself.

She could blame Toby, but she knew that too wasn't right, or fair. Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought of him…_Why does he have to be so damn wonderful? So caring and concerned… it's not fair._

Spencer smiled thinking it would have been so much easier if he was the biggest jerk she'd ever met. That it would be easy if she could hate him. But she can't. She just can't.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Spencer took a deep breath, desperately trying to calm her racing heart. Rounding the corner she let out a shriek as she was pulled into an empty classroom.

Shocked, Spencer gives a murderous glare, "What the hell was that for, Hanna!"

Spencer quickly cooled down, looking at her friends glum expression. "What's… is something wrong?"

"It's Aria," Hanna sighed jutting her thumb to the back of the room.

Spencer slowly walked behind Hanna, setting her bag down on a desk as she went. "Spencer, look, the reason I just kind of…er… grabbed you is—well, you remember your birthday?" Spencer nodded, unsure of where this conversation was exactly going. "Well, Aria and Mr. Fitz stayed at the club for a while longer, and—well, one drunken kiss led to another and…." Her shrill voice died out, unsure of how to explain the situation.

"What happened?" Spencer asked Aria quietly, pulling out the chair she was closest to and sitting down. Hanna copied her and sat down in the student desk opposite of Emily, while Aria had he legs drawn to her chest, sitting against the wall.

Spencer looked closely at the girl slumped against the wall. There was something different about her, though she could not place it. There was silence, stretching out for what seemed like ages. "Well… I-um me and Ezera, I mean Mr. Fitz… we-" Aria's stopped, her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. Tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, she looked down at the laminated wood table in silence.

Spencer's mouth formed a perfect "O", now realizing exactly what Hanna meant earlier. Aria looked to the wall finding it much easier to look at then her friends, her cheeks growing red.

"Aria!" Emily said loudly, and Arias eyes flew to her face. Clearly, by her expression, she hadn't known about Aria and Mr. Fitz… activity.

"We did," She said, her cheeks looking as though she had just run a great distance. "It was…it was…"

"You don't have to tell us," Spencer said quickly, because truthfully, she did not really want to know. Memories of her night with Toby sprang to the forefront of her mind as she uncomfortably shifted in her chair.

Aria looked alarmed. "I wasn't going to! But now it's…awkward," she said lamely, her fingers encircling with one another.

"Really?" Spencer said, raising an eyebrow, "shocking," she added sarcastically.

"Ha ha," Aria said dryly. "God, I didn't think it would be strange in the morning, but when we woke up, it was…" she shook her head, as if that would rid her of the image. "I practically ran out of the room," she said miserably.

Spencer nodded sympathetically, "I know what you mean."

And as the words spilled out of her mouth, Spencer instantly regretted them.

**_Alright, I know I ended it before Spencer told Hannah and Aria… but like I said before… iv'e been having terrible writers block… & you can definitely tell by the end... so I thought I would at least try to put something out. Also I don't plan on this story being super long, extended view of Spencer and her pregnancy. I already know how it ends, and some people won't like it, then again some may love it. So im thinking 10 chapters tops…_**

******_Also! I would love any requests of what you would like to see in the story; it would really help clear the cobwebs in my brain:]_**


	6. Slip of the Tongue

**_Are you guys excited? It's almost June 14, which means the season premier of Pretty Little Liars is back! _**

**_Anyway thanks for the comments and the ideas :D and although I do fancy the idea of the scare b_****_y Ghostwriter626,but I couldn't because Toby's home-schooled, & I would feel bad for doing that xD _**

**_Anyway, I passed my writers block.. I think, so enjoy!_**

**_~Kirsten~_**

**_Chapter Six_**

**_Slip of the Tongue_**

In an instant, Spencer felt as though a hot, glaring spotlight had been pointed at her. Aria's eyes if possible grew wider and Hanna had put her phone away- much more interested in what was happening before her, while Emily stiffened in her chair clearly uncomfortable with the subject.

Spencer looked resolutely at the floor, a constant line of swears running though in her mind at her sudden, brash words.

The silence that had blanketed the girls stretched on for what felt like an eternity, the words hanging uncomfortably in the air. Spencer prayed that someone, or something, would end it soon; it was unbearable.

"Wait," Emily started, trying to process her words, "You and… and Toby?" Spencer grimaced; it was not what she had hoped for, but it was something.

Spencer's cheeks flushed a deep crimson before burying her face in her hands, afraid she might cry. "Yes," she said in a muffled voice. "But… I'm… I… there's more."

"Details!" Hanna shrieked inching her chair noisily closer to Spencer's; clearly not having picked up on the discomfort radiating off her. Spencer stiffened, wishing more than anything to be somewhere else; even the Rosewood Police Department seemed like a better alternative.

"Hanna," Aria muttered jabbing her elbow into Hanna's side, understanding her friend's discomfort. "What do you mean, 'there's more'?" she asked evenly, leaning toward Spencer.

"It's… it's," she stuttered, as her face grew hot realizing what had to be said. Spencer lifted her face from her hands; her eyes glistening, "I mean, that there was a… a consequence to my- our decision." Her voice was abnormally high, rising and falling uncontrollably, "what I mean by consequence is that I'm… that I'm pregnant." Spencer's heart was pounding in her ears, blocking everything out as she watched her news slowly sink in, the shock settling on their faces. Millions of questions shot off in her mind, she was dying to ask them, but held her silence deciding it was the right things to do. And then, finally, Emily spoke shattering the silence.

"Pregnant," she drawled, pushing a stay piece of hair behind her ear. "And this isn't some joke?" she asked, trying to make the conversation as rational as possible.

"No, this isn't some joke," Spencer gritted irritably.

"How- how long have you known?" Aria asked softly voice. It was not excited or prying, but held general curiosity; and for that she was thankful.

"A little less than a month," Spencer whispered, her voice cracked.

To here surprise- and great relief soft arms encircled her. The action was kind, caring, and completely overwhelming. For the first time since she'd know she was pregnant Spencer cried; she cried so hard she felt lightheaded. She was aware that everyone passing the small room could probably hear her, but she didn't care. She cried until she felt sick, until there were no tears left.

After another moment Aria released her, a sad smile playing at her lips. She looked at the opposite wall, before her eyes connected to Spencer's. "Im sorry this is happening to you," she whispered, unsure of what else to say.

Spencer's heart sank; self pity and loathing settled into her veins. "But," Aria spoke, "you're not alone." Despite her friends comforting words, her mood was unfazed. Because she was still pregnant, and there was nothing that would change that, nothing but an… an _abortion._

The thought had crossed her mind before, it had been constantly been pulling at the strings in her mind ever since she discovered there was a pregnancy. And she hated herself for it. It was terrible, cruel… it was murder. Murder of something innocent, something with no opinion or thoughts… yet she still felt it was an option.

She shook her head, as if to rid the though.

Then, as though Hanna had been reading her mind she asked, "Spencer, what are you going to do?"

"I… I don't know," She answered truthfully.

**...**

In class, Mr. McDonald was on a roll. The Chemist teacher blustered on in what he believed was a riveting lecture about the noble gases and how they are found in group eighteen; simple things she had learned freshmen year. Occasionally laughing at his own jokes he carried on oblivious to the room filled with students sporting long absent looks.

Spencer's head fell back repeatedly, her mind threatening to slip into the boundaries of sleep. She watched the enthusiastic man, his head shining in the harsh florescent lights and his orange necktie setting in a trance of hypnosis.

It was times like this she wondered what the hype was all about finishing high school, receiving a higher education.

Twice Spencer had looked to the clock within a five-minute time span. It was the typical routine in every class; each student made sure to do it if they hadn't already fallen asleep. It was a half past two, and there was still another half hour to go until the end of the day. Spencer shifted around in her seat, becoming restless. Despite trying her best on paying attention to McDonald, her mind kept straying to Toby. She sighed, well over class by now.

Then as is on cue, her cell went off, vibrating violently in her jeans pocket. Jerking in her seat, she fished it out. It read "new text message" on the bright screen. It seemed everything had stopped, as her mind began to race at the message.

_Secrets are best kept concealed, can you keep yours?-A_

An awful feeling like a cramping nausea struck that had nothing to do with her pregnancy. Quickly and clumsily Spencer shot out of her seat, her tote swung wildly around her hips as she strolled hurriedly down the carpeted aisle. The echoes of her _Vera Wang _heels echoed loudly causing every head to turn in her direction. She had barely made it to the exit door when the booming voice of good ole' _Fish Faced McDonald _thundered_._

"Excuse me Miss Hastings, But where do you think you're going?" McDonald shouted in his 'know it all' voice.

Spencer turned around peering at the teacher with a wild expression. "I'm…I'm sorry," she squeaked.

McDonald narrowed his snake like eyes, shaking a wrinkled finger. "It is very rude to leave during a lecture. I'm sure whatever it is can wait. Please resume your seat."

"I have an emergency," Spencer tried, taking a large step backwards.

"Oh really?" he mocked, "Is that so? Unless you have a note, I suggest you take a seat."

Spencer felt her temperature rise along with her voice, "Actually sir, I just received a very urgent message on my phone and I need to go."

There was a shake of the head along with a pucker of his face. "Whatever the _urgent message _is Miss Hastings, it can surely wait until my class is over. Now I won't tell you again to take your seat."

Spencer was sure there was steam pouring out of both her ears. Waves of heat emanated from her cheeks and she was positive her face had turned a shade of crimson. With her hormones boiling over there was no way was this… this idiot of a person, a teacher of a simple and unnecessary _Chemistry_ class, could tell her what she could and couldn't do. What gave him the right?

"Sorry to break it to you…" she countered, sarcasm dripping off each word, "but I _have to go_. And I know you're desperate for control, for popularity and all, but I don't give a _damn_ about your class or about the noble gasses," she paused catching her breath before quickly adding, "_which _I learn freshman year. So you can take your comments and shove them up your ass!"

She left no room for a rebuttal. Sending another glare, relishing at the shock her little speech left on the balding teacher and the many slack-jaws of her fellow comrades, she rushed out the door.

She whipped her phone out of the oversized bag slung over her shoulder, re-reading the text as if what she saw had been impossible as she headed towards the student parking lot.

And what scared her was that it wasn't.

Even though A's messages came often, something about this particular one didn't sit right. The fact that she knew… scared her? Made her angry? She was unsure, but Spencer did know she didn't like it.

Reaching her car, Spencer had every intention of leaving, to drive anywhere but home when a soft knock came from the passenger's side window. Looking up she placed the face responsible for the noise; Aria.

Grudgingly, Spencer leaned over unlocking the hatch which secured the door.

"Hey, you alright?"

Spencer gave a snort. "You mean besides the obvious?"

"Spencer," Aria strained, clearly not in the mood to deal with her sarcasm.

To her surprise, she shook her head and took a deep breath. "No, I-I got this… I got this message," she said handing over the blackberry.

She watch Aria read it then look up alarmed, "Did you tell…I mean, does Toby know?" she asked softly.

Spencer nodded, "Yes, I did… but only after I needed to."

Aria guessed, "After you were hospitalized?"

Again Spencer nodded, as words began to pour out. "I mean, I'm only eighteen; I can't have a family or have a baby or start anything like that. I get how serious everything is but I don't _want_ that. I want to be able to go out on the weekends, drink myself into oblivion like every other teenager; _not _trying to get by the best I can with a baby attached at my hip." Her voice bobbed dangerously as her eyes moistened.

"Wait," Aria said understanding what Spencer was getting at, "You were never going to tell anyone, were you?"

Spencer shrugged miserably, tears streaking down her cheeks. "I don't know! I thought I could hide it, you know? That I could ride the pregnancy out 'till I made a decision, but I can't." She took another breath, letting it out slowly. "I just, I want the problem to go away," she whispered.

"Well, it isn't just going to 'go away'," Aria said airily.

"You think I don't know. You think I don't feel terrible about even considering it?" Spencer seethed. She didn't think it would be this hard. That she would care so much about something she absolutely hated at the same time; the last time she had felt this type of misery was at the hospital when she found out it was her fault Melissa had lost her demon spawn. Surely she could face this problem like the ones before, but for some reason, she couldn't find the energy.

Letting he emotions take control- against her better judgment, that is; Spencer continued: "You know what, I bet you _didn't_ think. Because _nothing _can be harder then hiding your hidden love with _Ezra _right?" Since when did Mr. Fitz become part of this? She didn't know or care; she let her emotions carry her away.

"And another thing," she started putting the key in the ignition, "You have no idea how this feels so keep your two sense to yourself." It felt bitter and cold, something completely unlike her.

Aria grabbed her bag, opening the car door. "You know what; just call me when you've calmed down, alright?"

Spencer frown, beginning to cry for what felt like the hundredth time that week before pulling out of the parking lot, knowing exactly where she was going.

**_It's a little short, but I completed my thoughts, so I believe that's accomplishing something:)_**

**_This one turned out to be a bit… how do I explain it, fast? I wanted to get around the girls knowing… I just hope I didn't rush things. _****_And watch out for the next chapter… I have so _****major _fluff coming your way :D I love that word, fluff, fluff, fluff…_**


	7. Romeo & Juliet

**_So I usually have an excuse for being late with updates, but I'm truly sorry (and a little ashamed) to give you another. My computers modem blew out, therefore I couldn't connect to the internet, but I can now! So without further ado…_**

**_Quickly, Thanks for the reviews you guys, you really know how to make a gal feel loved xD _**

**_Enjoy the chapter!_**

**_~Kirsten~_**

**Chapter Seven**

**Romeo & Juliet**

Spencer awoke the next morning as the sullen light streamed across her face. Keeping her eyes closed she couldn't help but think how simple everything seemed when she was hidden. How bye herself, welcoming the silence, and thinking of nothing except for the feel of the sheets against her skin; was simple and content.

Yet yesterdays events lingered in her mind, replaying her less than eloquent actions. Although she marveled at her brash actions towards the balding Chemistry teacher, she didn't particularly look forward to her next conversation with Aria. Through what she thought was rage; Spencer had completely and blatantly disregarded her friend's attempt at what she thought must have been comforting her. Taking off from the parking lot Spencer had felt the tears prick at the back of her eyes and blindly, unsure of where she was going through her misty eyes, Spencer drove to the hotel where she had stayed many times before with Toby.

Regrettably she hadn't spoken to him since she saw him in what felt like weeks ago. Yet it had only been three days. And within those days she hadn't made to contact him, and neither had he. Spencer tried to ignoring the stabbing pain in her heart, to ignore his number as she stroll through her phones contacts. But it seemed that no matter how hard to tried, so couldn't avoid thinking of him.

Releasing a slow breath she opened her eyes reluctantly turning her head toward the oak side table. The alarm clock read a quarter past twelve, and with a start Spencer realized she had slept through her entire morning classes. And for the first time that week, she laughed. A couple months ago she would have fallen out of bed rushing towards the door as if her life depended on it. But now, it seemed trivial. Besides, who would miss her with the exception of a couple of overly blissful teachers? Smiling at the thought of her thin-lipped History teacher and the adoring glint in her eyes (who clearly favorites her as a student), Spencer rolled onto her back. A light rain had picked up, beating a calming rhythm on the window of the room, and Spencer listened to it as she heard car speeding from the highway adjacent to the parking lot. She had let herself get lost in the sounds surrounding her for a few minutes, deciding that today she would do absolutely nothing.

The declaration, however, was reprehensibly broken by the shill cry of her phone. Half awake Spencer grabbed it and without meaning to silenced the noise by answering it.

"Spencer? Spencer where _are _you?" came the very distraught and irate voice of her mother.

Shocked, Spencer meagerly opened her mouth to answer, only to find the words were stuck in her now extremely tight throat.

"You're not with that _boy, _are you? Spencer answers me!"

Thinking quickly, desperately wanting Toby to not be dragged into the conversation Spencer said the first place that came to mind. "No! No… I'm not with him…I'm um… I—"

"Don't you dare lie to me Spencer Marie Hastings!" Hearing a deep breath, and not daring to interrupt, Spencer listened to her mother continue, slightly calmer. "The school called to tell me you've missed all your morning classes, and I _expect _you to be in the afternoon classed, right?"

The tone of her voice told Spencer it was more of an order rather than a request, but never the less she had decided that for today nothing and nobody could make her change her mind on having a day of blissful nothingness.

Taking a deep breath, slowly and as politely as possible she declined.

The reaction of her mother was as expected, "_No? _What do you mean _no, _Spencer you are going to be in class, now _where are you! _She hissed.

Despite wishful thinking, the question of where she was had risen again and she was less the patient this time around with answering. "Why does it matter? I already told you I'm not going back, so — don't — hold — your — breath!" She said venomously through clenched teeth before ending the conversation with a click.

Just five minutes ago she was so relaxed and content; she was surprised she hadn't started purring. Now she was anxious and desperately wanted to hit something other than her pillow.

Steaming off, Spencer had a horrible feeling of foreboding. If she was on a tight lease to begin with— with the pregnancy and the ever present torment of A, she would be surprised if her mother didn't put her on permanent house arrest the moment she stepped though her front door. She knew that she would be going back there at some point, she just wasn't sure if today was the appropriate time anymore.

Trying to rid the though of her locked in a sort of cage, with her mother smiling, dangling the key just out of her grasp, Spencer walked into the bathroom, started the shower and started to undress when she caught her reflection. Clad in only her bra and shorts Spencer stood mesmerized, her eyes locked on her midriff. Hadn't it been only a couple of hours ago that her stomach was flat, defined? Twisting left and right, she tried desperately to see if it were only her eyes tricking her, that the slight rise of her abdomen was some kind of illusion. But it wasn't, she irritably knew it wasn't. Hanging onto the last shred of hope she had left, Spencer tried to think if she eaten a lot last night, that she was bloated from the spicy chicken she had picked up from a local Chinese take-out restaurant. Gingerly she pressed the tips of her fingers against her skin and was shocked to feel how it had hardened. This had to have been there last night, she had determined that. Lowering her fingers slightly she felt a slight curve. Letting out a shaky breath, Spencer looked back at her reflection to find tears streaming down her face. As though she had been struck be lightning, it all became real. The morning (and night) sickness, the strange food cravings, and her irregular emotions were somehow irrefutable all of a sudden.

Bringing her hands back to her abdomen Spencer let her tears fall freely, even more confused than ever.

**…**

Despite her best efforts for the day to lull by with the only intention of being completely unperturbed, to ignore all things— including her mother — Spencer's thoughts deluded her once more, drifting to her boyfriend. The one thing she tried her hardest to ignore.

Spencer knew she wouldn't be alone in the matter, right? Aria and Hannah and Emily had said they'd be there for her for every step of the way, and there was no doubt they would be. But how was that fair? She had already made light of the topic towards her friends and they complied, reassuring her that they were there by her side by choice. And that was fantastic, but the one person she truly wanted and needed hadn't spoken to her in a week, hadn't made to contact her.

And it broke her heart.

Spencer's breath shuddered, shaking her chest raggedly. She angrily wiped at her eyes as anxiety set in, completely washing away the content she felt that morning. Next to her, her phone vibrated. With her free hand Spencer reached for it, hoping it was Toby.

_Two faced liars never get a happily ever after! __-A_

Spencer stared at the message in bewilderment, forcing the vial that crept into her throat back. Revulsion and fury rose in her; she gripped the phone tightly and threw it, with all her force.

Spencer sat down hard on the bed. The broken bits of her phone danced away from her as she picked up the scratched screen, thinking. She turned it over and over again, seeing herself reflected in the cracked, black screen. It was ironic to say the least, comparing her life to the shattered fragments. But everything seemed to be falling around her, and she thought, this time, it couldn't be saved.

Flipping the phone once more, Spencer sighed, bringing her knees to her chest. She was surprised when her phone lit up, slashes of light shining through the darkness. Attentively she lifted the phone closer, catching every few words: _cer, meet n he forest twent minute. _

The message was clear to her, the number she knew well. Against her better judgment she grabbed her coat.

**…**

Fresh crisp air surged freely through Spencer's lungs as she walked at a brisk pace. The wind factor had picked up a notch, blowing steadily the sweet scents of the pine trees in her face. She relished it. Out here in the open, it was freedom. Silently she walked deeper into the forest seeing nothing but tree upon tree, the indigo blue sky as her only light. Her legs carried her down an all to familiar crooked, rocky, and potholed path, sloping downhill, heading for a patch of dark trees a little below them.

The evening was cold, and Spencer watched as her breath turned into fog when she exhaled. Memories of being a child flashed before her as, laughing with her friend's ages ago to see who could breath the out the foggy air longest. A smile played at the corner of her mouth as she pushed branches and leaves out of her trees leaves licked at her face and thorny bushes snagged at her jeans, when she came to a halt.

There was Toby, his hands shoved deep within his pockets, absentmindedly looking around the forest.

She was surprised to say the least. All the rational explanations in the world explaining her boyfriend's previous behavior escaped her. In a way, it seemed like he wanted her gone, tried to act nasty to push her away. It was absurd, sure. But Spencer couldn't shake the feeling that there was something troubling Toby. Some secret. Something he couldn't say or do to alleviate its burden.

The thought revolted Spencer. She had enough secrets to last a lifetime; she didn't need to deal with another.

"Erm..." He wanted to be careful how he brought it up, he didn't want her to get angry with him. "You... alright Spencer? The air isn't too cold for you?"

She was shaking with anxiety, not because of the frigid temperature. "Not at all," She replied hastily. "No, let just… just talk."

"Okay," Toby breathed pushing his hands deeper into his pockets. "I… I'll start by saying how _sorry _I am Spencer. I was a jerk for… for pushing you towards a decision… when it isn't mine to make."

Spencer deflated at his words. How could she yell, scream, rage at him when he had said the very thing she wanted to hear? Yes, he was a complete ass for the way he treated her… but she had never seen him so distraught. And yes, he deserves to be punished, but how could she? Wasn't it bad enough that they were both stuck in this situation, the one she so desperately whished to be only a horrible, livid nightmare?

But she had made up her mind.

She stood her ground, crossing his hands over his chest, and taking a deep breath she let it out slowly through her nose. "And you think sorry'll make it all okay? This is… this will change _everything! _And I don't want t-to have to go through… go through life regretting t-the choice I-I…" Spencer wiped at her eyes as she began to cry, hoping she could somehow stem the flow before it got out of hand. If she started now, she knew she wouldn't be able to stop. "Regretting the choice I make," her voice was stronger.

Toby gave a solemn nod, and slowly, carefully said, "I know, but I truly am sorry, Spencer."

Staring at her feet, unable to reach his gaze, Spencer whispered, "Okay."

"Spencer… just do something for me, alright?"

"W-What?" She asked, looking up through misty eyes.

Toby gave a small smile. "Don't go looking for the problem, don't go looking for A."

Spencer opened her mouth, ready to protest, but was silenced.

"Wait," He said taking both her hands in his. "I know you Spence. If you had it your way the whole town would be looking into whoever this person is. But you can't keep going on like this," he paused unsure of what to say, "_please_ be careful, don't do anything stupid."

The words were bittersweet to her. She wouldn't so abruptly give up looking for Ian, nor would she be persuaded so easily into lying down and doing nothing. Whoever A was, had another thing coming if they thought _this _would stand in her way. "What do you mean by that?" she asked, her voice still thick.

"It means you'd sneak out of your house at the first opportunity if you thought you could. You'd go looking for A, searching for clues. Remember, your end of the deal was you would stop… stop looking for trouble."

"I never promised. You tried to make me promise and I said 'we'll see...'."

"You see my point then?" He said raising his eyebrows, "Tricky..."

Spencer made a sound that was half angry yowl, half sigh.

"Alright, you should probably get going before your parents have the entire town out looking for you," he joked. "Goodnight, Spencer. And Don't..." He mentally ran through a dozen things he wanted her to not to do, but he couldn't choose one, nor did he want to spew out the entire list, because surely as soon as he said one thing, he'd think of another two... "Just... don't." He concluded, hoping that she would understand, but knowing that even if she did there was little chance she would heed it.

"'Night," Spencer said irritably, making to walk away. Suddenly she felt a tug on her wrist and was silenced before she could begin to protest by his lips.

Her mind and heart were conflicted. Knowing it was a stupid move, knowing she shouldn't give into him so easily… But then there was a part of her the wanted to be reckless, surrender to the way her body felt despite her boyfriend's less than tactful decisions lately. Knowing the fight was a losing battle, Spencer gave in, the contact sent electric currents through her, as she felt the familiar wave of recklessness course under her skin. They kissed harder and faster, as if they did not have enough time in the world.

In the mix of confusing emotions, they broke apart, Toby's hands falling to her waist. The feel of them making her feel dizzy with happiness.

**_Well, was it good, terrible or so amazing it blew you're freakin mind? (I'm joking by the way.) And for anyone who's a little confused the deal was made at some point (in my mind) when they started dating… romantic right? _**

**_ Ugh… so I redid the dialogue in the last scene three times, and I think I finally got it right! Again, sorry for the wait you guys!_**

**_P.S did you SEE the last episode! Ohmigosh, who _****is _A! :D_**


	8. Adios Chiquettos?

**_.I AM NO LONGER WRITING ON THIS FANFICTION._**

**_ALL MY STORY'S HAVE BEEN DELETED (BY MYSELF) EXCEPT THIS ONE_**

SKILLET48

**_JOINED: 9-25-10_**

**_LEFT: 7-24-11_**

**_So before anyone kills me I have to give an apology and an explanation... _**

**_Two of my very near and dear relatives are dyeing and I no longer have the want/time/need to write these stories. I am truelly sorry that I have to disapoint so many people and Im sorry..._**

Death. It's a subject no one wants to talk about, let alone acknowledge it. The only way I can describe it is… you get this feeling in the pit of your stomach, almost like you want to through up. Or a weight (rock) in the pit of your stomach you can't seem to get rid of no matter how hard you try. You heart feels as though it's been restricted, like a lasso, and each time you think of the loved one that's dyeing or dead it get tighter, and tighter until you feel as though you cant breath.

But nothing is as unbearably unknowable and uncomfortable as the way you mind feels.

Your mind works unmercifully thinking whether the death is going to occur in years, months, weeks, minutes, seconds… it's truthfully the worst feeling I have ever experienced in my entire life.

_**Again I'm SO sorry for letting down everyone, but there are more important needs to tend to now. So let me show you what I was planning on doing...**_

**_The (once) Pending eight chapter:_**

**_This really isn't even pending its one paragraph:(_**

**Chapter Eight**

As March melted into April, tension within the Hastingsresidence raised to a new level, constricting every person in its wake; it was as though it had turned the air solid. Spencer had been avoiding her family; all weekend she hid in the motel, bidding her time. Her arrival at the house had… gone as best as possible in her mind. Her mother screamed before being reduced to tears, Melissa rolled her eyes marching out the door telling her to _"Go to Hell"_, while her father solemnly shook his head.

**What I planned to be part of the finale chapter:**

**(this is going to be choppy, different parts of what I planned to be the finale)**

**Finale Chapter**

The shriek of Spencer's scream pierced through the murky fog of conversation, causing every eye to snap in her direction. "Someone better get me a room _now," _her hostile tone was given the response of many glazed expressions. With her patience dwindling exceedingly fast, she tried again through gritted teeth. "I need a room. _Now," _this time her message was received as to her surprise Melissa stumbled towards the reception area.

Her muscles screamed at the strenuous effort, pleading for her to stop. Sweat ran down in little rivers on her skin, chilling her to the bone. Her heart hammered painfully against her ribcage as she tried not to scream.

Spencer gripped the bed sheets in her hand, balling them up as if they would somehow relieve her pain, before releasing a long, harsh breath.

"Spencer you _have_ to push," Dr. Tran begged.

"No," she sobbed, "I-I can't… it's too, too painful." Spencer's voice went up several octave on the last word as her face scrunched into a painful grimace.

Spencer concentrated in pulling in the much-needed oxygen. The battle raged on within her, the knife-like pains shooting through her body, starting from her inner thighs and making their way to her abdomen.

**Again so sorry... ****_Here's to all my _****_lovely reviewers (in order of reviewing):_**

_**kana117, Candy Couture, EvilEmmaEvans, PrettyLittleGleeber, christel555, ankaz123, .dreamers, , sparksfly16, Godess of the Sands, NCISaddict77, Paula Edith Perry, SolitudeMyLove, laugh4life, Aerize, EvilEmmaEvans, heartofwind, CrypticnotesandSpencerxToby, Ghostwriter626, Annali1081, always., MacieXOXO145, Puckleberrylover221, , Hallie, FAN3, anonymous, Spobylover, Macie, VeronicaLee, Mandithegleek, **_


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